Monday, 5 May 2014

March 2014 - Interesting times




The Irish love to celebrate St. Patrick's day and strangely manage to get everybody else to join in whilst totally ignoring their own patron saint's day.

March 17th on the Cabo Roig strip near where we live saw over 8,000 people joining in the fun and getting completely into the spirit, in both senses. It was a very sunny day with temperatures in the high twenties and all had a great time with no trouble.

There were parades of classic cars, bikes, and 22 floats, all of which combined Spanish and Irish humour. Plans are already on the table for next year's event which is the only St. Patrick's Day parade in the whole of Spain.

Two honorary Paddies for the day. Chris and Viv from The Orange Tree Restaurant

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On a less savoury note, March sees the beginning of the Feria de Falles which is a mass slaughter of bulls for the entertainment of the brain-dead in the bullrings. Some parts of Spain have now banned this blood sport but alas it continues in most of the country.
 
Sometimes the bull has a slight victory...

 
but will still go on to be slaughtered painfully. The above picture shows a matador being gored and badly injured by the tormented bull at the beginning of the 2014 festival. The matador concerned, Enrique Ponce, has killed over 2,000 bulls and was described as "lucky" as the bull only broke his collarbone and several ribs. The bull was not so lucky as he went on to be killed. Defenders of the sport say that because the bull only suffers and is tormented for about 20 minutes before being killed it compares favourably with humane slaughter in other countries. I say Bull Sh**t.
 
 
On a happier note, Falles is also a time of party and celebration held in commemoration of Saint Joseph in the city of Valencia.
 
One of the huge statues or Falles, which are paraded during the celebrations.
 
The term Falles refers to both the celebration and the monuments created during the celebration. A number of towns in the Valencian Community have similar celebrations inspired by the original one in Valencia.
 
The five days and nights of Falles are a continuous party. There are a multitude of processions: historical, religious, and comedic. Crowds in the restaurants spill out into the streets. Explosions can be heard all day long and sporadically through the night. Foreigners may be surprised to see everyone from small children to elderly gentlemen throwing fireworks and noisemakers in the streets, which are littered with pyrotechnical debris. The timing of the events is fixed and they fall on the same date every year, though there has been discussion about holding some events on the weekend preceding the Falles, to take greater advantage of the tourist potential of the festival or changing the end date in years where it is due to occur in midweek.
 
Each day of Falles begins at 8:00 am with La Despertà ("the wake-up call"). Brass bands appear from the casals and begin to march down every street playing lively music. Close behind them are the fallers, throwing large firecrackers in the street as they go.
 
 

On the final night of Falles, around midnight on March 19, these falles are burnt as huge bonfires. This is known as La Cremà (the Burning), the climax of the whole event, and the reason why the constructions are called falles ("torches"). Traditionally, the falla in the Plaça de l'Ajuntament is burned last.
 
Many neighbourhoods have a falla infantil (a children's falla, smaller and without satirical themes), which is held a few metres away from the main one. This is burnt first, at 10:00 pm. The main neighbourhood falles are burnt closer to midnight; the burning of the falles in the city centre often starts later. For example, in 2005, the fire brigade delayed the burning of the Egyptian funeral falla in Carrer del Convent de Jerusalem until 1:30 am, when they were sure all safety concerns were addressed.
 
Each falla is laden with fireworks which are lit first. The construction itself is lit either after or during the explosion of these fireworks. Falles burn quite quickly, and the heat given off is felt by all around. The heat from the larger ones often drives the crowd back a couple of metres, even though they are already behind barriers that the fire brigade has set several metres from the construction. In narrower streets, the heat scorches the surrounding buildings, and the firemen douse the façades, window blinds, street signs, etc. with their hoses to stop them catching fire or melting, from the beginning of the cremà until it cools down.
 
Away from the falles, people frolic in the streets, the whole city resembling an open-air dance party, except that instead of music there is the incessant (and occasionally deafening) sound of people throwing fireworks around randomly. There are stalls selling products such as the typical fried snacks porres, xurros and bunyols, as well as roasted chestnuts or trinkets.
 
While the smaller falles dotted around the streets are burned at approximately the same time as each other, the last falla to be burned is the main one, which is saved until last so that everybody can watch it. This main falla is found outside the ayuntamiento - the town hall. People arrive a few hours before the scheduled burning time to get a front row view.
 
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February 2014 - When I'm 64.



Where is the camera when you need one?

Kathie's 64th birthday and the owners of our favourite restaurant, The Orange Tree, laid on music, birthday candles, and beautiful cakes for Kathie's birthday. No camera, no phone, no pictures.

We didn't win the quiz that night but we had a great time and our friends came back to the apartment to finish off the cake and share some wine with us. A great evening.

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January 2014 - Some funnies to start off the year

When did Daleks get their own loos?

You could easily substitute "On a PC Help Desk"

And I am...............?


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These  are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that  were  taken off their car videos:

1.   "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
 
2.  "If you run, you'll only go to jail  tired."
 
3.  "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?  Because that's the  speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
 
4.  "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess  that means I can  write anything I want to on the ticket,  huh?"
 
5.  "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but  I don't think  it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
 
6.  "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are  drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
 
7.   "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
 
8.   "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
 
9.  "I'm glad to  hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of  yours. So  you know someone who can post your  bail."
 
AND  THE WINNER  IS....
10. "You didn't think we give pretty women  tickets?  You're right, we don't. Sign here."

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Do it all the time
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And finally for now...




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December 2013 - Anybody know a good driver?


The month began with quite cool weather and as Timmy has now acclimatised to the warmer temperatures here Kathie decided to buy him a coat. Have you ever seen a dog looking embarrassed?

Kathie took part in the annual procession around Torrevieja called the Patronal procession which is in honour of the town's patron. A good turnout from our U3A (if you call 15 from 500 a good number) but everybody was well received by the Spanish both in the crowds and the procession itself. A decision was taken at this event that instead of spending over €100 on flowers we would in future buy one lovely presentation then give the balance of the money to one of our supported charities who provide food the poor and needy of the town. Our own Patchwork and Sewing Group will design and make us a banner so that our group may be identified during the walk.



On Christmas Day we decided to eat out for a change and our friends Martin and Christine booked us into El Prado, a family run Spanish restaurant in the local town of San Miguel.



In order that we could all have a drink we enlisted the help of our friend Graham who would otherwise have gone hungry. We left him a Christmas lunch and he drove us to the restaurant in our car so that he would know the way when he came for us. The arrangement was that he would collect us and we would phone him twenty minutes or so before we were ready. Now San Miguel is a town with only one set of traffic lights and to get to our restaurant one had only to turn left at these lights and follow the road around to the destination. One turn at the only lights in town and directly on the route from home.


Graham used to be a car valeter and deliverer for one of the main dealerships in Manchester and had to deliver or collect new and used cars from all over the Greater Manchester and Cheshire areas. In the past couple of years we have had him visit various garages and ITV (Spanish MOT) stations in the area for us. He always manages to get lost even though we provide him with maps or sat-nav etc. He tends to overcomplicate matters instead of following instructions with results such as a garage 40 minutes away took him four and a half hours to find.

When it was time for me to phone him he answered his mobile to say that he was already in San Miguel (he wanted to get there in the light) but he could not find the restaurant. He said give him another twenty minutes and he would "drive around" until he found it. This was highly unlikely as the town is a maze of one-way street when you leave the main roads. Worse still he did not actually know where he was so it was impossible to give him directions to get to us. I gave him his twenty minutes and phoned again. "I still cannot find you but I am in a Repsol petrol station - does that help". Yes it did, we knew where he was. "Turn right out of the garage on the main road and stop at the next roundabout and we will meet you there". He answered that he could not tell which was the main road! As the garage was on the Ring Road (which he had just left to get into it) and the only other road out of it was 10 yards long and ended with a fence around a field we could not understand his difficulty but as it was Christmas we were kind and told him to wait where he was and we would walk to him. The ladies were in their finery with high heeled shoes and no coats, and Martin and I were not equipped for the cold and rain but we pressed on with the fifteen minute walk to where he was. How he managed in Manchester we cannot imagine!

He has now been dropped from our list of nominated drivers unless he already knows the way to his destination. On a happy note we had a sumptuous seven course lunch with unlimited wine for only €30 each.

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